I'm often asked what I do, or what coaching is. When I say I work with personality development there is often a pause, and then a question. How does someone develop their personality?
Very good question!
Most people don't know their own personality type or style. If they do, even fewer have a deep understanding of how stress, relaxation, work or play affects their personality and they way they interact with the world.
The majority of people look at their personality as "normal". What is normal and right and obvious common sense to someone does not necessarily match what someone else sees as normal, right or obvious common sense!
Developing your personality starts with knowing your personality style.
A good coach will walk you through what your go-to actions, thoughts, patterns and emotions are in stress, in joy, at work, at play, and in relationship.
An excellent coach will help you uncover the underlying motivations and inspirations for why you do what you do, like what you like, and act like you act.
None of us have a perfect personality. If you think you do... you might not be being honest with yourself!
Developing your personality is growing in understanding of what you need in order to live in relationship with others, and then training yourself to see what others need and how to integrate that and live that out of your particular style.
Growth happens when you see what you have always done as one of many options of showing up in the world, then finding other ways to express yourself so you are better understood, the people around you feel more seen, accepted and loved, and you can adapt to meet the needs around you.
The best way to know if you are growing in personality development is to ask yourself, "Am I showing up to difficult situations differently today than I was a year ago? Do the people around me both see me, and feel seen by me?"
Working with a coach helps hold up the mirror and help you discover the places your personality could use some refining.
