I find it funny to hear people talk about self-awareness. Often, it's the most unaware people who think they are the most aware!
There's a bit of a phenomenon happening these days. Everyone is talking about being self-aware, but no one is talking about what it means to be self-aware.
In today's over-counselled, tiktok & instagram reeled, self-acclaimed professional 'teaching' self-aware simply means "being very intimately aware of my personal needs and what I deem to be safe to protect myself in every way".
That's not being self-aware... that's being self-absorbed!
What is real self-awareness?
True self-awareness is like a three-legged stool. Each leg must be fully intact and functional in order to keep the stool balanced, and useful.
Leg one: Aware of who I am, what I need, and how I interact with others. This is right now the "biggest leg" in social media. Everyone is talking about this. And although it's an important part, it's truly so overblown and out of proportion in comparison to the other legs that it's uncomely, bulky and very out-of-the-scope of healthy.
Leg two: Aware of who others are, what they need, how I perceive them, and how I interact with them.
This is not a comfortable topic because it means we have to think beyond ourselves. We need to begin to understand that people who are different, who think differently, who react differently, and have different needs than we do can, and likely are in fact, healthy and normal. However, if we cannot assess differences and adjust to them, do we really know ourselves? Are we really who we want to be if we cannot relate well to others?
Leg three: Aware of how others perceive us, feel around us, and choose to interact with us because of how we impact them. This is without a doubt, the most difficult leg of self-awareness to grow in. This leg is like looking in a mirror and seeing things about ourselves we haven't really wanted to look at. This is believing that those around us might not see us the way we see ourselves and requires we become curious and teachable around those topics.
This is why working with a coach is important. It's not likely that anyone can become truly self-aware without outside input. A coach can help direct you into developing these three legs of self-awareness.
